Hands of a clock
I had just bought breakfast and I met the car outside, my colleagues were about to leave and I hopped in. I work once a week and it was one of those days. As I entered there were comments about eating without doing any work. I quickly responded; “there is no food for a lazy man because naturally, women are always working”. The steaming jollof aroma that tried hard to displace the lavender in the car did not matter anymore. It was as though I just let out a bomb and a debate about gender roles exploded.
“Talking about the role of fathers and mothers is like talking about the hands of a clock. The minute hand keeps running around and thinks it greater role than the hour hand.”
“the hour hand’s movement is noble and more impacting than the one who keeps running around, imagine a mason saying he works harder than you because your work is sedentary in nature”
I kept listening to his very interesting points about the role of women in the society but when he mentioned security and protection, I simply asked, why not hire a security man instead, if thats all you need. He laughed it off and further opined that the presence of the father in the home is more relevant, he said domestic roles were naturally meant for women and men can only assist if they wish. It sure didn’t go down well with the rest of us , we kept going in circles till the argument came to a necessary end.
I picked up a lesson from his hands of a clock analogy. They complement each other and one cannot work without the other. They both play noble and impacting roles though different in nature as regards nobility and impact. The man and the woman need each other, regardless of what we see and hear these days. A society needs the manly strictness of a father and the feminine tenderness of a mother to raise balanced children. The family, which is the basic unit of every society need to get this right, without the man being too strict as to mistake abuse for discipline or the woman being too tender as to mistake spoiling for tender care. If discipline and tender care are in place, who knows? We might as well have more disciplined boys who respect women and not see them as objects of abuse whether physically or otherwise. We might also have feminine ladies who embrace every shade of their femininity and respect manliness for what it is.
In the course of the debate, I said that a mother can be both mother and father, but that only applies to bread winning and the multi-tasking nature of a woman. It does not in any way satisfy the psychological longing of a father, a figure head, one whose presence commands respect and love at the same time-a feeling very different from a mother’s, although more tender. Being female, I think its the most beautiful feeling in the world to have hands that once spanked you walk you down the aisle, having the significant man you have adored and accommodated all your life hand you to another man you will now adore as equally significant for the rest of your life. This is not downplaying on our mothers that become best friend, sister, coach,cook, teacher and everything in one, but believe me these are different feelings, different in ways that word fail me to describe.
G.K. Chesterton in his book what is wrong with the world, opines that the woman has a greater dignity. He points out many interesting reasons why the woman’s role should be respected for its great value. When I read it, I smiled at first, I mean who wouldn’t when you’ve just been told that you are superior, but that’s not the point. Our opponent from the debate said men’s roles were greater and he hasn’t read Chesterton so I forgive him, it however brings me to the question; who is superior? To be sincere, that question does not help anybody, the fight for superiority has not made the society better so I suggest we leave it. If you are a man, be responsible and unapologetic about it, if you are a woman, accept it wholeheartedly, but be careful about entitlements. In the end, a common goal will be achieved just like the hands of a clock that work together though differently to tell time.
